Darkness

There's a storm outside and my head is closing in, the sound inside it is muted but I try to hold it high because I don't know whether this is real or not

And I have pockets of real happiness surrounding me, and sometimes the rain lifts and there is a gap in the thunder and I can see the waves settling and the sickness bears down and leaves me for a while but it is always there waiting for me, invincible untouched by anything that tries to make you leave me.

And sometimes the waves just curl and roll and crawl like white fingers on land, and sometimes the rain is just light and I can see the sun breaking through, perhaps one day there is a rainbow fighting through, and there are always endless dreams but my head still swims and my heart still aches and my skin tingles and I feel it, you coming closer, waiting to touch my soul.